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Coming out of the grizzle and into the light.

This week has been a tough one...

 

I knew it was going to be tough after talking to some friends on Sunday night and trying to decided whether or not I had 'normal' mum stresses going on or whether or not I needed to think about it possibly being more than that.

Let me explain...

My little boy has been grizzling pretty much non stop for the last two weeks. He's been absolutely obsessed with learning to crawl and he does it all day and part of the night. It's the grizzling I cant stand! The constant grizzle of frustration. He even makes this annoying sound with a smile on his face sometimes. It's pretty bizarre and utterly infuriating for both of us.

Grizzle, grizzle, grizzle that's what my life had resorted too. It just burrows deep into my soul like a tiny jack hammer and somedays it becomes utterly unbearable. I had a moment on Tuesday where I called my husband crying down the phone "It's 2pm and he STILL hasn't slept and I'm doing a terrible job and I've had enough! I just want him to be quiet for 10 mins!!". He reassured me that in fact it doesn't matter, that I'm doing a great job and to just take a breath. I did that and I had a camomile tea and then I resorted to jiggling him to sleep in my arms which finally worked and I feel asleep in my favourite armchair for maybe 15 well deserved minutes. I finally had my peace!!

Pickle for lunch?


I've been thinking a lot about Motherhood lately and about some of the ridiculous expectations we hold ourselves too. I feel like somedays I'm just too tired and I've come to realise this week that actually thats ok. Somedays are really,really hard. Somedays I eat pickles for lunch because I just don't have the time or energy to bother making anything else. Somedays I am counting the minutes until my husband gets home and other days I'm celebrating getting all his naps in and am feeling on the top of the world. Motherhood is so up and down, it's a crazy, sometimes beautiful, sometimes ugly, most certainly very messy but incredible rollercoaster ride. Sometimes I'm doing awesome and other days I want to crawl into the pile of washing and hide from my baby. Yep! It's really that tough and I'm sorry to anyone who is reading this and thinking surely it isn't THAT hard (it is!) or perhaps that I'm being overly dramatic (but unfortunately I'm just not the kind of person who makes stuff up).

Being a parent is so so sooo hard and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to you. I thought for a little bit that maybe my baby is just a 'hard baby' but after talking to lots of other new mums I have discovered that he's not at all it's just that all babies are hard and if you can get through this crazy first year or two they promise me it gets lot easier and a lot more fun.

Talk it out...

I've also discovered that if you're feeling down or stressed that's totally okay because there is always someone else out there who is feeling just like you. You don't need to suffer in silence, reaching out or sharing with friends really does put things back into perspective and if you need to talk to a professional that's okay too. Whatever you need to do to stay yourself in this intense, difficult time is nothing to feel bad about. Postive self talk has been really helping me in those times that I feel like everything is going wrong. It's good to remember that things will get better and I'm happy to report the grizzle is (mostly) over! Hooray! if you're reading this and are a new Mum then I think you should celebrate making it through another day.

Hifive mama friends! 

You are doing so, so good xx

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