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Becoming ‘unbusy’ - a bit more about heart led parenting

I recently had the absolute pleasure of attending one of The Heart Schools workshops. I’ve been to one before as a teacher but this one was titled ‘Time for Toddlers’ and with my little one transitioning fast into toddlerhood I couldn’t resist going along.  The presenters spoke about lots of things that they think toddlers need like space, freedom and nature but what I think I really took away from it was the importance of unhurried time.

It really opened my eyes to the importance of slowing down with our children (especially our toddlers). Listening to their body language with your heart instead of your head all the time and that helps to understand their big emotions. They spoke about creating connection instead of disconnection by not rushing around and being ‘busy’all the time. They encouraged the idea of creating deeper connections by just simply being. I for one am extremely guilty of bring constantly busy. I always feel like I’m never finished with my house work or other chores and that I need to be doing something. Somedays it’s so hard to balance your day to day tasks with the needs of your child.


It got my thinking about how your home is like your sacred unbusy space where you really unwind, connect and refuel your mind, body and spirit. For your child your home is their safe known place and in order for them to be able to explore the unknown (everywhere else!) they first have to have a solid foundation in their known place. Makes perfect sense right?! So why then does society place such importantance on filling up your days with activities, classes and things to entertain us with?! We don’t need a million things to do because to a child everything ordinary is really pretty extraordinary so I’m trying to stop rushing through it. To start really living it and enjoying it because that’s what your child really wants - a happy mum!. They don’t need grand they need real. They need everyday people doing everyday things. The daily family rhythms and rituals like eating dinner together, reading stories in the garden or baking a cake are some of the best memories and they are the ones that get placed in their heart memory banks. If we start putting them on a busy schedule now then they will be on the path of living a busy on the go all the time kind of life. It made me question ‘is what you really want or even enjoy’ My answer is no.

I think for me this took a lot of the pressure off! I do feel like I need to ‘do things’ in my day but in actual fact my worth is not measured by my productivity. Simply going through our daily rhythm and connecting is the best and most important thing we can ever do. It might seem mundane but it’s those simple things that build security, trust and most importantly love. Don’t get me wrong here I do enjoy meeting up with a friend some days or going out to the park or shops but it’s those home days that are really key for connecting us and building up our realtionship in the heart 💓.

If your interested in reading more about parenting and teaching from the heart you should check out The Heart Schools website or the readings of Pennie Brownlee - a very inspiring New Zealand Early Childhood Teacher and researcher.

https://www.heartschool.nz/

https://penniebrownlee.weebly.com/

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