Last month we celebrated our sweet little boys first birthday and it felt like such a huge milestone! Not just for us but for our families and friends too. It's one of those moments where it's so far off for ages that it feels like it's never going to come and then all of a sudden 'Bam!' We have a one year old and I realised we are no longer newbies at this. I also started to feel incredibly grateful to have had so many supportive people in our life. They offered us kindness or encouragement even when we were so exhausted and over it (trust me we had our fair share of those days). I truly feel thankful to have such a great village around us to talk to, to bring us meals and to moan to on those days where I didn't want to Mum anymore. Looking back on this year has made me realise I've learnt so much! not just about my baby and my husband but also about life in general. Here's just a few things I wanted to share.
Take advice with a grain of salt but no judgement
Becoming a new parent seems to mean that suddenly a lot of people want to offer advice to you. Some of it is really helpful and invaluable other times you just have to smile and nod and do the opposite. People usually mean well though and are giving you their advice to be helpful so it's up to you whether or not you take it on board. I found so many mum forums and groups online that also give you advice or more accurately 'Let me tell you how I got my baby to sleep through without crying' or 'Why you shouldn't use baby powder on your baby' or 'how many hours your baby should be sleeping' etc, etc it just goes on and on. Sometimes I would get so annoyed at peoples judgey comments but recently I started to realise theres no point in doing that because everyone is just doing the best they can. No one is asking about their babies rash to be annoying they really want advice and maybe we need to offer it (whatever it might be) in a non judgemental way. To be honest, sometimes I really do love those forums though! mostly because it can put your mind at ease when you realise you're not the only one with a baby doing x,y,z. Advice is all well and good but every body and every baby is unique so I think in most cases I already knew (in my heart) if it was going to work for us or not so that leads me to my next piece of learning...
Do what you feel
So much of being a mum is about filtering through the information you read, the comments people make, the advice you are given by health professionals and friends, the experiences you have had and then really just doing what is right for you. Eventually you figure out what suits you and you develop your own daily rhythm or routine. It's not always easy though and sometimes it's so hard to make decisions about things. I would often be second guessing myself and wondering if I made the right choice but ultimately you've just gotta do what you feel. That sounds so easy on the surface doesn't it? and maybe it is. Go with your instincts because they are pretty much never wrong.
Parenting is not for the faint hearted...
Parenting is hard work! I know people say that all the time but it's really true! I thought that from my experience of being a teacher I knew what hard work looked like and felt like but parenting is so much harder. Perhaps what makes it so hard is that it's never ending. There's no clocking out and going home at the end of the day. Some days are long and exhausting but I guess now I truly have a new appreciation of what my own parents really went through and how much they love me.
Say I love you and appreciate you often
As most of you know we had anything but an easy start to our little ones life but we got through it together and through the support of lots of great people. I think the most important thing I've learnt this year is that I need to say 'I love you' or 'I appreciate you' more often. We all have important people in our lives who hold us up in difficult times but usually we never tell them how much they mean to us for whatever reasons. Life is too short to not say those important words so I urge you to be more grateful towards others and towards your life. It really shifts something inside you and helps you get to a happier place mentally- even if you find it difficult to do at the start. I does get easier the more you do it and then the better it seems to feel. I'd really like to hold my self accountable for this one and role model it for my little one every day.
So that's it! just a tiny portion of my learning this past year. I could have gone on and on really. Parenthood is the most overwhelming, crazy, exhausting, beautiful, amazing thing you'll ever do and to my husband and my baby boy I love you! and I appreciate you more and more with each passing day. It really has taken so much more than A "Little" Magic to survive but a lot of love and support from each other and our village got us there. Happy birthday sweet boy!
Comments
Post a Comment