Lately I've been having a bit of an internal struggle with what I’d like my house to look like and what it actually does look like. It's kind of like this cleanliness war is raging on without me and my piles of washing and endless sink of dishes are my enemies. Somedays I feel like my completely rocking it and everything gets tidied away at the end of the day, the floor swept, the surfaces mostly clear but then the next day arrives and my tiny (albeit very cute) destroyer of neatness wakes up and the battles rages on. It's not that I don't want to be tidy... It's just that my tiny human is busy undoing all the tidying that I do. More often than not I'm just too tired to spend my evenings cleaning and putting piles of washing away. This means my washing basket has effectively become my new wardrobe. I rifle through the big basket every morning for my clean clothes and then I wash more and add them to the pile. Marie Kondo would not be impressed! My new no...

Lately I’ve been feeling a bit sad but for the longest time I just couldn't figure out why? I’m 99 percent better from all of my many birth complications and I really feel like I’m starting to get the hang of this mum gig so why do I feel like something is just not right? Last week I was pushing my sweet baby boy in his swing when it hit me! I realised that what I’m feeling sad about is really like a type of grief. I’m grieving for the natural birth I thought I’d have but was brutally ripped away from me. If you don't know my birth story then that’s probably a good thing. It was all very traumatic I’m not sure I’m even ready to tell that story just yet but what I am ready to talk about is grief. Grieving for a moment lost in time... Having to let go of something you imagined for so long is really painful. It’s like saying goodbye to a little piece of your life that you thought you’d have. You really thought it would be one way but now it’s all weird and different a...

Yesterday we celebrated 9 months of our little human! I think that's a pretty cool milestone because now he has officially been earth side for longer than he was mummy side if that makes sense? This last month has been one of the hardest for me. I wasn't really sure why but after some reflection I think I've worked it out. 8 months was the month of movement for us, okay more like speed crawling. The month of my little snuggle bug actually started zooming around our house and has now became quicker at crawling than I walk most of the time. Something really changed for me this month! I guess I thought his new found movement was going to mean new found independence but actually what I've encountered is a weird type of regression. It's almost as if now he can move around where ever he likes he's decided he doesn't want to that much. Instead he just wants to attach himself to me at all times like a little limpet. It hard, it's physically and mentally dr...

Today after getting a pretty good sleep for the first time in months I looked down at my sweet boy all covered in mushy weetbix and half chewed pieces of watermelon and I thought Woah! How crazy is this? I made you! You are half me and half the person who I love the most in this world but hang on… now you are the person who I love the most in this world. Amazing babies It might sound silly but it was a bit of an eureka moment for me. I’ve been so tired lately. I mean dead tired, crazy, living zombie kinda tired that I think i’d forgotten how amazing this tiny human sitting in front of me truly is. He’s so smart, cuddly, curious and smiley. Full of boundless energy and games galore. He loves his truck book, pulling himself up on EVERYTHING, smiling at strangers in the supermarket and chewing on my hair. He can climb the 18 stairs in our house and does it at every chance he gets, he can remember where all his toys are even though he moves them around throughout the day. He likes ...