I recently had a some what of an awkward conversation with a fellow mum about why I'm not breastfeeding. She didn't know my birth story because we'd only just met but she seemed like a pretty kind and understanding lady. However! when I pulled out my bottle of formula to fed my little boy she gave me a 'look'. Then she paused and said "Why aren't you breastfeeding?" in a very matter of fact tone. Without even thinking I shot back "Because I almost died".
Sadly, I've had a few of these conversations in the last 5 months but my response seems to always shut down those conversations. In fact it usually ends in some kind of an apology to me by the said judgey person. The truth of the matter is that I tried desperately for 8 weeks to breastfeed, I went to classes, We paid for lactation consultants, We even drove to Palmerston North to get my babies tongue tie snipped all to no avail. I expressed day and night during those first 2 months and this was all on top of the extreme pain I was in. I do still feel a bit sad that I couldn't make it work in the end but I don't regret my decision to do what was best for my baby and make sure he was properly fed.
and on that note...
Sadly, I've had a few of these conversations in the last 5 months but my response seems to always shut down those conversations. In fact it usually ends in some kind of an apology to me by the said judgey person. The truth of the matter is that I tried desperately for 8 weeks to breastfeed, I went to classes, We paid for lactation consultants, We even drove to Palmerston North to get my babies tongue tie snipped all to no avail. I expressed day and night during those first 2 months and this was all on top of the extreme pain I was in. I do still feel a bit sad that I couldn't make it work in the end but I don't regret my decision to do what was best for my baby and make sure he was properly fed.
and on that note...
Dear judgey breastfeeding mums,
Can you please stop being so awful and looking down your noses at other mums who can't (for whatever reason) breastfeed. You might have had a struggle with your breastfeeding journey too and in which case you know how trying it is on top of the incredible tiredness, the pain and the feeling of hopelessness. It’s this feeling like you've failed as a mum because you can't you do what mother nature intended and fed your baby. It's not a happy place to be in and only those who have been through that can really understand the pain. Your judgement is not helping them!
Maybe that’s not your story though, maybe you were one those lucky mums who got it right off the bat. Your baby popped out and just like magic it all worked for you. If this is you then you are so incredibly blessed and I'm truly super pleased for you but please, PLEASE! I beg of you! stop criticising other mums who haven't had such an easy journey.
Sincerely,
A new mum who desperately doesn't need any more negative breastfeeding comments.
Can you please stop being so awful and looking down your noses at other mums who can't (for whatever reason) breastfeed. You might have had a struggle with your breastfeeding journey too and in which case you know how trying it is on top of the incredible tiredness, the pain and the feeling of hopelessness. It’s this feeling like you've failed as a mum because you can't you do what mother nature intended and fed your baby. It's not a happy place to be in and only those who have been through that can really understand the pain. Your judgement is not helping them!
Maybe that’s not your story though, maybe you were one those lucky mums who got it right off the bat. Your baby popped out and just like magic it all worked for you. If this is you then you are so incredibly blessed and I'm truly super pleased for you but please, PLEASE! I beg of you! stop criticising other mums who haven't had such an easy journey.
Sincerely,
A new mum who desperately doesn't need any more negative breastfeeding comments.
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